Oh Yes!

OH YES! IT HAPPENED

Oh yes! Something extra ordinary just happened. You know what? I started to love myself the way I never did before and guess what? I have never felt the heart this kind of light and the soul would come and whisper, THIS IS YOU BABY. Carefree, happy more importantly, you have that one thing no one can snatch from you; Your golden heart filled with love for others.

In the midst of life chaos, I happened to lose my own identity. I started to lose myself slowly. The mind and heart would conflict with each other and this caused a rejection to my whole body UNTIL one fine day I just woke up with something so positive. After a month of devotion, all I had was patience to bear its fruits. And! Just one fine day, I started smiling again by myself. You know why? I just got a click. Hey! Listen! I am guilt free. I am regret free. Then do I deserve to hurt myself this much?

Why does a heart pain? 

We feel heart broken when we lose someone we loved or wanted very much. But let’s ask us the question. Does that someone/everything love us back the much we do? Are they really affected by your absence? Are they really heartbroken the way you are? Do they still look for you in the crowds? Would they even care if something happens to you? Unfortunately, you’ll never forget that moment when everything came crashing down and you felt like someone was choking you. But eventually let’s find the easiest way to get over all this. We had love. Why ignite hatred? No! sometimes we choose the hardest way just because we feel to achieve the most important things in life, we need to go through the most difficult struggles. Why don’t we just choose the simplest way? Try it. Own experienced. It is fruitful. Don’t hate anyone. Don’t look for reasons that will make you feel stupid for losing them. Don’t focus on what they are up to. Focus on what you can do. Focus on what wonders you can offer your heart. This is your journey. Just know one thing. “Don’t let your past blackmail your present, to ruin a wonderful future”

Today as I woke up, there was a different kind of positive energy around. Because I have learnt you cannot change the people around you But you can change the people around you. And I found this so deep to relate to it. I made up my mind if someone slams his door on your face, just turn around, a better door is being opened and is ready to welcome you with open arms. The welcome I am receiving from other doors are so big and so so warm that the slammed door is no longer a need for me. I decided to hate none. I decided to talk to anyone who needs my voice. I decided not to ignore people who love me. I decided to give love back to my humans. I decided to give everyone a chance to stay in my life. I decided to take a stand for myself. I decided to forget things which have caused me pain. I decided to live with memories and to create even better ones. Finally, I decided to be ME. I decided I make my own happiness. So here I am! Singing, shouting, cooking, playing, talking…

Remember love yourself and you will see the right person will automatically make you fall in love with yourself more. 

In order to find the kind of relationship you deserve, you need to think better of yourself. You need to realize how valuable your heart is. You need to stop looking for someone who is willing to put up with you and start searching for someone who is thrilled they’ve gotten the chance to get to know you.

Thus, to sum up, I would not say forgive. All I would say is take it as a lesson. As long as you have no guilt in your heart, you are victorious. Leave the guilt to the person who has broken you. The day he is able to forgive himself for what he did to you will be the day you will be accepting his apology from a sincere heart (whether he asked or not).

The day you know who you are, what others think or rumour about you will no longer matter. Relationships, be it whichever, couple, siblings, friendship, parents or any else, are very delicate. Handle them with softness. If you see a crack, glue it. If you see it broken, mend it. If you see it gone into pieces, try to fix it, and if not fixed, recycle it. 

Weak people throw away valuable things because they fear they are incapable of doing it the right way. But, We! We are strong. We might go weak for a while, but we come up stronger because we have always believed in giving ourself another chance. 

Things will always last as long as you take care.

Loads of love,

Aisha

P.s (some of my words are influenced from a movie called “Dear Zindagi”, If you’ve not watched it, do so asap. One of the bests I have ever seen)

Started to heal

I have started to heal…

With the huge response I have received from you all, I am about to pen down my best blog (See this through my eyes). All I want to convey through this one is all wordmyheart and not wordmythought.

I am writing this to myself and and not to you. 

I am still pained, sad, shattered, angry and many more mixed emotions. I am still in huge state of shock at how on a big fine day you could become so cold to me when I saw my sunshine through you, rays of sunlight would end with you becoming my moon. You were my star gaze completing my nights, transformed into my mornings and this was the routine. I am still perplexed, confused, still waking up from this nightmare and accepting it as a reality. A new reality which is now part of my life. A life, where I will not be there to catch you when you fall or where you will not be there to comfort me with your words when I need you.

But I am learning to heal.

I have had to heal from a lot of things, and I am still healing from so much that’s happened to me. Every day, I wake up and I go on, I move forward. And now I do not even have my tears to gift you. You dried it up all. And that’s okay. Because I have learnt, it’s okay to miss you.

I am starting to see you for the person you truly are. Someone that I loved, but who chose to leave me for irrational emotions. Someone that I cherished, but who stopped believing that we could make it work. Someone who chose to compromise my huge smile over his silly hasty feelings. 

And I am learning to forgive you. I haven’t yet, and I don’t know when I will. But I can feel it, someday the time will come. Maybe it won’t come until I meet someone else, and start telling him about what happened with you, and he’ll look at me the way you never really did.

Or maybe very soon, with my upcoming achievements which you always thought were my faults. I don’t know. Honestly!

But I know, when it happens, it won’t be for you.

I won’t forgive you to give YOU the peace of mind. I know you can do that yourself, I now know it isn’t my responsibility to get rid of your guilt. I will forgive you so that I can love myself and others, in the way I did when I first fell in love with you. I will let go of all the hurt and pain, and start to love everything again. Start to believe in myself, and in happiness, and love.

It may take a long time for me to heal, and to move on, longer than it takes you, and that’s okay too.
Because I can feel it now. I can feel the healing. I can see the light, at the end of the darkness. And I pray you heal too!

And finally I have been highly motivated with this quote. I pray you all find your ways too.

“Live as long as you want, you will die. Love whomever you want, you will part ways. Do whatever you want, you will be accountable”

Signing off,

Loads of Love,

Aisha,

Broken to heal

I’m broken.

and the tears kept falling that i’m racing with my own heart beat.

It hurts, it hurts so much like it will never heal, it hurts, it hurts like the pain will never go, It hurts, it hurts like the heart finds no way to beat anymore.

Yes, my dear, I know it hurts more than words can describe. 

But you are not alone, every person goes through this transition, this heartache bears so many forms, colors and stories but all same when it penetrates a person, it goes beyond the soul. 

Sometimes Godl tests us on things we think we will never be able to cope up, but know God never intends for you hardship but ease. 

It only hurts like that because you were holding a belief that was so strong that you gave into it more than you should have. 

You had someone you saw as the moon among the stars, a laugh among the smiles and a bearer of happiness…happiness, a happiness that was not meant for you. 

I know, We all understand how much pain losing the person we thought were ours.

O you, whose heart has been crashed, you can keep your tears from us, but please do not keep it from the One Who Truly Loves you, The One Who Loves you more than any man could ever love you, One Who loves you more than your own parents.

Cry to God, please. 

Cry to Him, scream if you need to but please let it go, let your heart breathe, do not imprison it with the pain, call out Help, call out Help from the One whom you know will never leave you hanging, nor have left you for even a minute in your life. 

You can hide and no one in this world can know that pain you are going through, but you can never hide from Him, He sees and hears and knows everything…

From the pain behind every Alhamdulillah, I am okay, I will be okay, you are hurting, you have to accept that. It is painful, but see this as a blessing in which God gave you so that you can go run back to Him.

Failure, pain, sorrow, grief, lost all these negative feelings give nothing to a person but a step closer to his betterment. There is pain in every blossoming beauty, to be able to have a potable water, it has to be filtered, it has to go through processes, and so are people. In order to be the best of what we are, we have to go into pain, failure, success everything, but only those who keep faith in Him can survive and pass these tests in flying colors.

Sometimes we ask, how can a person bear so much pain? 

Good soul, know that it was destined for you, it was written for you that you walk along this path but not to crash you but to make you better, a process we all go through.

When you are hurt, do not cry on the shoulders of others, but cry in remembrance of God. people can tell you this and that to comfort you, but no words can ever comfort you like how the Words of God. People can lie to you to comfort you, but Your Lord holds every truth. You feel the pain, because God sends out Mercy for you. Behind every tear is a comfort, a direction from him.

No one can mend your heart but the One who created it. He has the medicine for everything, God gave even all the warnings, if not, then solution before the problem.

This heartache will not break you, it will make you stronger, believe in God for He says He doesn’t burden the soul of something in which it cannot bear.

Always remember, God loves you.

And we pray that through our heartaches, our failures and all the endeavors we face we find His Guidance hovering upon us, that in His Mercy we also find the ease which we need in our hearts and that He grants us a mind and a heart that sees what is good in every situation so that we can bear every problem and trial with patience and tolerance along with our undying faith in Him.

Love,

Aisha

Which one are you?

For the past weeks, i have witnessed tragedy in many of my dear ones’ lives. I have seen hearts being broken, hearts being mended after broken. I tried to be there for people who really deserve my concern and i also kicked out those who selfishly use my kindness when it deems them fit.

I tried to link all those stories altogether to have a clearer picture in my mind trying to find an answer why does this tragedy called “heartbreak” happen to people?

There are two types of people. First ones are those who really suffer. Second ones are those who pretend to suffer. The similarity between these two is that they both do suffer. The difference is that one suffers because the heart has been pained badly and the other one suffers much later when the first one has started to be okay. The first one tries hard to relieve this excruciating pain leaving all odds behind hoping to get out of this mess, however when this happens, the second one starts to suffer. He suffers thinking how come he is out of the pain i gave him? I need to inflict more pain on him before he gets well.

The first type of people are those who have been sincere DEVOTING their all to something/someone selflessly; they loved! The second ones are those who have as well INVESTED their time in something/someone only till they would find a bigger investment ahead. They do not love! They deal.
The worst thing about life is that, we will end up by seeing these two categories of people together where one struggles to get better and the other one lives his best life but then later does struggle as well to make the first one’s worse.

Both are struggling in a way, but the difference is clear.
There is nothing greater than the mercy of The Almighty. Yesterday might have not been yours, but today is always the time to stand up strong. Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. Hope exists. Love exists. All you need is a positive will, a determined goal, a motivating surrounding and His blessings.

To all my friends from the first category,
loads of love,
Aisha ❤

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